As I am about to reopen in the new year on the 5th, I am feeling reflective about the year before. 2015 started as a big year for me, but in the end I broke even. Large triumphs were met with large disappointments in equal measure. The Wheel spun and what was given to me was also taken away in kind. I had not broadcast much as there wasn't anything to say and no one ever really wants to brag about failure because that shatters the illusion that we are perfect people painting perfect lives.
I was offered an opportunity to expand Fortuna the cats world in a potential animated feature but in the end walked away from the project. I could over simplify and not take responsibility, but the bottom line was (and excuse my lack of delicacy in the matter) I felt like a prostitute. I was fed to the money machine intent on riches myself and in the end felt so cheap and dirty I got off the soiled mattress of what was something beautiful and walked out. They wanted me to be a fake person on youtube pretending to love pop culture and sell things I didn't give a crap about to get hits, to get likes, and to be "viral and edgy" I was told to pander to the masses and "be a bad girl" because everyone LOVES that. They wanted me to compromise to the point of being compromising and they wanted me to do it with a smile and a thank you very much. I felt violated, and gross and angry with myself for allowing this to happen. So I left and a lot of people told me I was stupid for doing so. These were THE gate keepers I have been waiting for!!
Here's the thing. There is no gatekeeper to my career, or your career or to anything or anyone you want in your life. If you keep waiting for that agent, that licensing deal or whatever else you need to feel validated you are going to waste your life. In the end most of the "successes" you need to define your career will mainly feed your ego and rarely feed your soul or your bank account. They say it takes a village and you need a Tenzing Norgay to climb Everest. Here is the thing about sherpas they don't tell you about in the brochure: If you say, break your leg and its in their best interest they WILL leave you to die. Everest is littered with dead bodies. The take away from all of this is the only person who has your ultimate best interests for YOUR career is YOU. Everyone else will cut your rope to save themselves. Do NOT rely on others and give away your power and sense "because they know better" That is utter bullshit. You are the only person who can make you, who can break you and who can set your limits. People purporting to be magic key masters need something from YOU not the other way around because you see, its not in their best interest to be charitable in business. There are so many of you looking to others for a leg up, for advice or looking all around you trying to break into the business. You are wasting your time. You need to be a self starter, use that hand you have out asking for something to grab the thing you want. It takes work, dedication and sacrifice and YOU have to do the time. Shortcuts are earned and not given. You want the moon? Fantastic go get it. You expect the moon? No you fail and you will continue to fail because life, the community and the world owe you nothing.
This year I don't give a crap about looking for that golden key, I have all the tools I need for success right now. Everything I have lived, learned and encountered in my life is leading up to this moment where I break out of the limits I have allowed to be set. I don't want ANY of you reading this to be discouraged because you haven't been ushered past the velvet rope. There isn't one. The rope is a lie. The rope is an excuse you use to hold YOURSELF back. Don't give yourself a rope to hang yourself with. Just do it. Grab it! Be the thing you want to be and don't blame anyone or anything else for your lack of success.
Climb your own Everest. No one else cares as much as you do if you make it to the summit.